yeah probs not

sydney, straya

Anonymous asked: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.

boyfriend-music:

maurypovichofficial:

britneyspears:

Sometimes I do impressions…

she’s an icon for a reason and this is why

:’D

(Source: instagram.com)

yoshio-yoshida:

Oh my god youre straight? I had no idea. You seem normal to me. Did you know that Sara is straight to? You two should totally hook up. I cant believe youre straight. You could be my straight best friend. We could go to football games together. Itll be so much fun. So like how long have you been straight? Youre whole life!? No way.

(via kittenmichael)

ben-c:

ifbuteverythought:

vinebox:

My typical school day

As a teacher, I wish one of my students would say this. I would die laughing and then remember I’m supposed to be the adult in the room. 

WHY IS THIS TINY CHILD FUNNIER THAN ME

(via eyeballfarts)

  • men: women who wear makeup are just lying to us
  • men: it's 8 inches

y’all getting really specific like “where are all the indie boys with messy shoulder length brown hair and blue eyes who are between 6’ and 6’4 whose favourite vampire weekend album is contra but knows mvotc is their best album and drinks their coffee black with 3.2 sugars and smokes cheap cigarettes on a balcony at 2:23 am” like….. chill

(Source: miniaturewhiski, via itsminttu)

goatcorporation:

for my ALS ice bucket challenge, i nominate… the archpriests of the illuminati! show yourselves, cowards, if you dare!

(via slapmytitties)